Changes

So its been a few days since Ive written and I figured that I need to get something out of my head into the universe. So here it goes.

I am exhausted. Physically, emotionally, spiritually. I try to keep things strong and going but when one of those faulters, all of them do. I just cant believe how tired I am. I am drained of everything. I dont even know what to think anymore. I dont even want to think LOL.

I am trying really hard to be a positive person, but I have so many weak moments. I have been asking God to help me with them. And sometimes I get an answer, and its in the form of a friends who listens. Its helped.

I am very sad that my friend has moved away. I have not experienced losing a friend to the military in a very long time so I am not really used to it anymore. And I have had so much loss in my life the last few months I am not really sure how to move forward from the spot I am stuck in now. I hate telling or showing people how sad I am because honestly there really is nothing that anyone else can do for me. Sure they can listen but at the end of the day its still the same. I am still hurting. I am so afraid that things in my life arent really what they seem. I dont know why I am so doubting lately. I dont have people who often let me down so I really have no idea what I am so afraid of. I just feel too much. I just wanted to put it out there. Getting words out of my head seem to make me hear them less. =)

I will write again soon, even if that didnt make sense.

xoxox

PS i love you baby jacobs