So yesterday was a great day. I wasnt sad, I was very, very productive and things just started to look up. So I guess its just karma for me to have a shitty day today. I woke in a bad mood, in pain and not wanting to go to work. I just feel uncomfortable. With everything, with life. I dont know what to do. Im learning boundaries for myself and with others with my emotions and standing up for myself but it doesnt make me feel better. I woke up on monday and got in my car and drove half way across town before i had to ask myself why the heck i got in my car in the first place for. hadnt even washed my face. soo confusing. i get more and more days like that, where i feel kind of brain damaged. using conditioner then shampoo putting dirty dishes in the cabinet, next thing you know ill be putting my underwear on backwards and a t-shirt over my ass!
I took a pregnancy test today. Even though Im supposed to start my period today. I just had this feeling that i needed to. it was negative. i dont know why i feel like im going to feel guilty when i tell people if i get pregnant again soon. some people are like promise me youll wait.. wait for what? how can people really prepare for a baby. youre never going to be financially stable enough, i have all the love in the world, its just what am i supposed to wait for? i married a man who loves me, and on most days makes me happy. sure we have our ups and downs with pretty bad downs. but who doesnt? marriage isnt easy, its not supposed to be. thats what makes the good times worth fighting for. anyways i have to go back to work. im sure that more will come tonight.
xoxox
me
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment