Two Months From Surgery Date

So I went down to see my angel statue today. It was sad, but Kristen was with me so I held together and didnt cry until I dropped her off at home. I cant believe that it has only been two months since I had that D&C. Somedays it seems like its been years but then the others it feels like its only been a few days. Anyways when I went down there to the angel, I found my candle and my note still there. All the writing is washed off the candle and someone must have taken the letter out of the scroll and read it because it was folded neatly next to the candle. Drenched of course from the rain but still readable. So I brought it home and thought I would share my letter to my baby.............



Baby Jacobs,
My sweet, precious angel. I miss you so much. Its been only 2 short weeks since I found out that you'd been taken from us but it seems like a lifetime. I will never get to hold you or watch you grow up and it breaks my heart. Today I said a prayer for you, please make sure it gets to God. I want him to watch over you until I come home. You will always be a part of me as footprints on my heart. I love you with everything, my sweet summer angel.

-xoxo-
Mommy



I have those same words everyday. I should make my own special summer angel prayer that I can say with the rest of my prayers. That way I can find a way to talk to my baby and God everyday. Start or end it right. I am too tired to write a lot tonight even though there is tons on my mind. All I will say is that I had a blast making a cake and getting ready for Olivias birthday tomorrow. I think its something good and productive to get my mind off sadness. The rain doesnt really help anything. It just makes me more sad and depressed. I have an apt for a massage tomorrow. I CANT WAIT! It is going to be wonderful and I am even thinking of getting a manicure and pedicure while I am at it. Just pamper myself up for the day. I think that I deserve it and my body is going to loveeeee me.

Goodnight blog. As always thanks for listening.